Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Is Jacqueline Laurita the Real Villain of 'Real Housewives of New Jersey'?

While the Dreaded Milania remains spectacular and glorious, her brilliant evil is shadowed by another far worse creature. Not Joe the Ogre, but worse still—Jacqueline Laurita, otherwise known as Error, a horrible beast with the torso of a woman and lower body of a snake that dwells in a cave in Franklin Lakes, subsisting off the pain and misfortune of those around her.

In the beginning, Jacqueline seemed sweet—an innocent little puppy forced between her sisters-in-law and the increasingly crazy Danielle Staub—but as time went on, she revealed her true manipulative self by allegedly driving a wedge between Caroline and Dina Manzo (let’s not forget that this is the same innocent puppy who once punched Caroline in the face) and slowly but surely revealing the full extent of her derangement.

Jacqueline, as she demonstrates more and more through every episode, is an expert manipulator, far more skilled than she’s ever been credited for. Knowing this now, it makes much more sense that she spawned a demon like Ashlee. Speaking of, remember when Ashlee (then “Ashley”) called her mom immature and said that she acted like she was in 8th grade? Turns out, she—despite being awful herself—was very right! Jacqueline—as we saw during last week’s conversation with Teresa—IS immature and DOES act like an 8th grader. An 8th grader with Kafkaesque plastic surgery, but still, you get the point.

As Jacqueline wraps her tale around more people, painfully strangling the life out of them, it’s time we look for solutions. My suggestion: Unleash the Dreaded Milania on her. It will be like Batman Vs. Superman, except I’ll actually watch it.
I'm no Teresa Giudice fan, but when Jacqueline picked up that phone to call Joe Gorga in the midst of that argument the two had a couple of weeks ago, it just reminded me of how manipulative and evil Jacqueline can be. And from putting her hands on Caroline early on in her marriage to husband Chris to constantly getting in-between Chris and his sister Dina's relationship to her evil spawn of a daughter Ashley to just never admitting that she's wrong, Jacqueline just may be the real villain of 'RHONJ'.

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